Swings. Kisses. Great times.

Yesterday I went to church at St. Paul Methodist in Bridge City with Kevin. We went to the traditional service because it was the later one, and everyone was very polite and greeted us. One couple even asked Kevin and i if we were married, pretty funny. I sometimes like the tradtitional services because they feel very respectful and well... tradtitional, still keeping with the past of using hymals. I like both, i like dancing and loud guitars but i also like the choir. After that, Kevin and i went to the Old Orange Cafe for lunch then went walking around by the water and looked at the boats. I then took him back to his apartment and came home to go to work. Work went ok, I made some pretty good money but since Carmen is now gone, I have to run the cash register which can be both cool but scarry because i dont want to screw up. Kevin came by work and helped me ban silverware then he came with me to take Lydia and Zhuma home. After that we went to the park and played on the swings and went down the slides. Its was really fun, I havent gone to the park in ages and especially not at ten o'clock at night.

I hadent heard from Rebecca all day, and i could tell something was up. We try and atleast text of see eachother every day and we hadent done either. I went to her house and asked what was wrong, she explained nothing was up but she had liar written on her face. I finally got it out of her, and she told me that she hadent talked to me because she figured I like talking to Kevin more then i like talking to her. I was kinda suprised because shes my best friend and hes my boyfriend and they are both separate relationships. I told her that she needed to not worry and that even though i have a boyfriend i wont forget about her or whatever and that i would do anything for her. I dont know. I really try hard not to talk about Kevin that much at all around friends, I try to act like i dont even hang out with him because I hate when I'm around other girls and all they talk about is this guy they like or their boyfriends, its really annoying. I try hard not be like that. Boys are great but friends should always come first, and Ive screwed that up before but I dont want to do that at all now.

This week is going to be very stressful with all this stuff going on with school band and fdsjkldsfkjfkjlfsdklfdkjrwuirew

yeah.

Lately things seem to be really crazy with band and school and everything. I'm going to start updating on here more on a daily basis because ten years down the road I'll probally actually read this.

You know whats weird? I have had this xanga for about five years now. man. Seems not that long ago that i was back home in Austin. Austin. Man. I miss Austin. But I guess Orange is ok.

I went to work today from 11-3. Kevin came up there for about 2 hours and hung out with me. It was nice. He has a sweet smiling face, something fresh, something new, something differnt. I guess thats why I like him. Hes totally differnt from anyone I have ever dated. I dont know if thats a good thing or a bad. I miss work a lot becauase I used to be up there all the time and now I hardly am but on the weekends. My life seems to be split up into chunks and most of the time seems to be so private from one another. Things go on that i dont interfere with the other parts. I have my family life, work life, school life, band life, friends life, kevin and all of them really dont mix. I dont know.

After work, I picked up Sarah to hang out. I really like Sarah, she is easy to talk to and is one of the people that I know would be there for me in a hearbeat. We went and saw that new movie Halloween. I dont know. It has a lot of blood and stuff in it, I felt kinda sick and thought about leaving. At one point i felt so bad that i had to actually walk out of the theater, I went into the bathroom to try to pull myself together. Scary movies dont really bother me because its all fake but i dont know. Its just eh. The movie all together was pretty dumb i thought. Then Sarah and i came on home and now I'm here. I had fun.

All in all today was good.

see ya tomorrow.

Suddeness.

The last couple of months my life has changed immensely. From coaching a basketball team, to getting a car and driving, to working as a waitress, from windensamble to jazz band. This is the first time i have felt like i have the most control and yet the least control of my life. I love my job. I love the people i work with. I love most of my customers. I love the flexibility. The people i work with are some of the most amazing people i have ever met in my life. I have been trying to balance out the things in my life, the important things. Such as, health, friends, family, the world and its beauty, music, and seeing things different.  I have started to see the beauty in the unbeautiful and i honestly don't know the words to describe it. The last couple of months i have been pushed, shoved and completely removed out of my comfort zone. I have been sleeping less at home and have sadly been sleeping at school more. At this moment in life i have realized that i am finally growing up. Its the most scary feeling in the world but at the same suprisingly relieving that this is all finally happening. The first few weeks were difficult but right now, I'm managing everything with ease. I have been fighting to take one day at time. The weeks seem to fly by and weekends are never long enough. I try to spend as much time as i can with my close friends, ecspesially Rebecca she and i have never been closer. My mom has been supporting me with everything. and i have finally seen that my parents cant teach me everything. They cant teach me how to grow up, i have to do that on my own. I love them so much for letting go and yet still holding on.

I'm falling in love with life.

Hello xanga. How are you?